


Come Undone

by ziskandra



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 11:21:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10463751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziskandra/pseuds/ziskandra
Summary: On love of country, leaving home, and having children.“Was I the right person?” Elissa asks. She suspects she already knows the answer.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [klickitats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/klickitats/gifts).



> I was really thrilled to have the opportunity to write one of my favourite pairings for one of my favourite authors, and although I struggled with this quite a bit, I hope it's come together in a way that's enjoyable for you to read. Thanks again for the inspiration!

Elissa loves Anora’s hair most when it’s tumbling down her shoulders. It’s a rare display, one that very few other people get to see, and certainly not in the context that Elissa enjoys it most. To clarify, that context is the one they’re in now, with her head buried between Anora’s legs and Anora’s head thrown back in ecstasy. Honestly, she could stay here forever, but she knows that she shouldn’t. _Can’t_.   
  
Anora turns her head to the side on her pillow, doing her best to hide the languid smile that’s spreading across her face but failing. “I still never knew I would enjoy this so much,” she rasps, and Elissa merely hums and continues her efforts as she mustn’t have been down here long enough if Anora still has enough breath to get such a full sentence out with only a few stops and starts. When she knows Anora’s close, she presses two fingers into her wife, her love, her _queen_ , digits crooked against that spot which she knows will cause Anora to come undone.   
  
When Anora is finished pulsing around her, Elissa withdraws her sodden fingers and sucks them dry between her lips. Sitting up with a sense of heady satisfaction, she answers, “Aye. You’d never been with a woman before.” Over the years, they’ve had plenty a discussion about just how perfunctory a lover Cailan was, but truth be told, none of it had truly surprised her.

Anora stretches out beside her, naked as the day she was born, glowing in the aftermath of her release. “That does not mean I hadn’t considered it before.”  
  
“I know,” Elissa answers, pulling Anora closer to tuck the other woman’s head under her chin. Anora in her element is formidable and a little scary, but here when it’s just the two of them, Elissa appreciates just how neatly Anora fits in her arms. Anora is slight where Elissa is strong; years in court haven’t shrunken Elissa’s muscles any, have not reduced the breadth of her shoulders, nor dulled her skill with her blades. “It is simply how we were raised. Freedom, to a point,” she starts before looking down at where their legs are still entangled, “before they start asking questions of _babes_.”

She will never miss the way Anora’s face ashens when the topic comes up between them, and she hastens to add, “You know that’s never mattered to me. I never wanted children.” It was, in a way, how their union had come to fruition. Elissa had had half a mind to plan a marriage between Anora and Alistair when Anora had deflected. What had her words been, again?   _I am tired of ruling in a husband’s name_. When Elissa had answered with _I would not be a husband_ she had meant it mostly as jest.   
  
And then Anora had called her bluff, and Elissa fell for her there and then. It felt like a giant ‘fuck you’ to the nobility and traditions of Ferelden, but it would not be _bad_ for Ferelden, or any worse than the alternatives. She knew that neither of them would stand for a decision which could ruin their country. She’d always hated being given a role to play.   
  
Maybe, just maybe, if she’d been paying attention, she might’ve realised Anora felt differently. She feels she always suspected it, but had pushed the thought aside because she was too happy with the way things were. So when Anora withdraws from her, brow furrowed, Elissa isn’t overly surprised. “I did,” Anora whispers into the space between them, and Elissa feels her heart sink. She wants to ask Anora why she’s saying this now, but she _knows_ why.  
  
It's easier to have these disagreements, these fights, when they don’t have to be around each other to deal with the consequences. “With the right person,” Anora continues numbly, staring into the distance, and Elissa feels absolutely wretched. She kisses Anora’s hair, her cheek, and whispers the question that she really doesn’t want the answer to.  
  
“Was I the right person?” she asks, doing her best to quell the spirited racing of her heart. Again, she suspects she already knows the answer.   
  
“Yes,” Anora confesses, and Elissa could weep. She buries her face in Anora’s shoulder and apologises for not knowing. “I always admired your certainty,” Anora continues, “the way you simply let the opinions of others wash off your back.” Elissa looks up to see a crooked smile curl on Anora’s face.  “It was an inspiration.”   
  
Elissa laughs, although it’s shaky. “And here I thought I was drawing my inspiration from _you_. When we first met, I was intimidated. Awed. Enthralled. Still am, to be honest. Fereldan to the bone but you play the Game so fiercely. I think my lack of courtly graces always disappointed my parents. Probably why they kept me away from Denerim for so long. That, or they knew we’d run away together, given half a chance.” Ten years later and it still hurts to think about what had happened to her family. As it turns out, _vengeance_ is not the natural forerunner to _closure_.

“I do not doubt it for a moment,” Anora says ruefully, “if there is anyone in this world who would have convinced me, as a young woman, to leave everything behind, it would’ve been you.”  
  
Elissa purses her lips as she disentangles herself from Anora in order to start rummaging for her clothes. Best to get this over with and not draw this out, or her desire to leave will only dwindle.  “You flatter me,” she remarks as she secures her breastband. “Even I know nothing will get in the way of Anora and her rightful place as the ruler of all Ferelden.” She smiles, holds Anora’s gaze. “You never gave up on what you wanted, either. Remember that.” Still, the words ring hollow what with Anora’s prior confession. Strangely, she even finds herself considering it, despite the image of herself as a mother being _laughable._   
  
She grasps Anora’s hands in her own, strokes a calloused thumb against perfect skin. “I love you. I’ll love you for the rest of my life.” The _no matter what happens_ goes unspoken. The crux of the matter is, however, that Elissa has a lead on curing the Taint, and if she successfully pursues it, _the rest of her life_ will be all the more longer. The _truth_ of the matter is, if she had not wed Anora, she mightn’t have bothered to search for it.

Anora’s fingers tighten in Elissa’s grasp. “And I you,” she answers.

Elissa lets go before she’s convinced to keep holding on forever. “For now, I leave Ferelden in your capable hands – where, I must point out – it has always been, my queen.”  
  
Anora settles back into the bed; it is late at night, Elissa knows, and Anora needs her rest. “Until you come back to me, my warrior princess.”

She might love watching Anora come undone, but these times they share where they put together back again are the ones she relishes most. As she sits on the edge of the bed and laces her boots, she promises, “I’ll come back. I’ll always come back for you.” She knows Anora knows it’s a promise she might not be able to keep.  
  
Elissa hopes beyond hope that Anora will be able to forgive her anyway.  


End file.
